Shame

So, I haven't updated the blog for a long, long while. I will now confess that it is because I am ashamed. Of the 35 lbs I lost in 2011, I gained 25 back in 2012. I saw the weight gain happening. I made mental promises to stop it from increasing (see my original how to lose weight series for more on this), but I didn't actually change any of my actions. Honestly, I knew that I didn't want to stop eating my junk food. I LOVED milkshakes and burgers, and I was not ready to give it up. I am ashamed to go in public and be seen by people who saw me when I was skinny and who complimented me on the weight I'd lost. I know exactly what I did, and what I ate, that led to the weight gain.

I hate excuses. I will not make excuses. That being said, I know what changed to lead to my weight gain. I changed jobs. My routine changed. My day (and my meals and my exercise) were very structured and consistent before I changed jobs. Three days a week, I rode my bicycle to work at 7:20am. I would eat breakfast and lunch at work. Then I would get on my bike at 3:15pm and ride to my second job, where I would eat dinner. Then I would ride my bike home at midnight. This totaled an hour of exercise on these days and no ability to go out to eat or pick up junk food. On the other four days a week, I would ride my bike to work, but it was only at one of the two jobs. My goal now is to learn how to build that consistency and routine in a job that is NOT structured or consistent. When I sat at my desk all day, it was easy for me to eat 0 or low point items every 2-3 hours. Right now, it is not. Until this happened, I had not realized how instrumental my routines of doing the same things every day had been to my success. I also got very sick for a month right as spring came and the cycling season began. This put a huge wrench in my routine of riding, because I was out of commission for so long, missed my organized rides (or rode them while sick, which was not that fun), and then I was behind everyone else in conditioning because of my time out. I failed to get into my habit of going on long rides. :(

So, what would you like me to write about?