The Holidays Don't Have to Be A Diet Disaster

So, we have made it past Turkey Genocide Day. How did you do? If you did well, celebrate and remember that it is possible! If you did not so well, move on. It's in the past and you've got to focus on how to manage your weight now, not how you did it in the past.

Personally, I weighed 131 before my trip (which is the lowest I've weighed thus far). I was afraid to get on the scale. There was a scale at my parents' house that I could have used, but it was in the living room and I couldn't weigh myself there because I don't wear clothes when I weigh and it was "too much work" to move it somewhere else. I also put off weighing myself when I got home yesterday too. But, this morning I braved the scale, and I weighed 132.7 today. I typically weigh 133-135, so by my standards, I didn't really gain weight, it's just a normal fluctuation. I drank wine. I ate desserts. I had rolls. I didn't drink enough water. I didn't have to starve myself or feel left out or restricted.

I tell you all this because I want you to know that it IS possible to manage your weight. Even when you're traveling and have to eat airport/plane food. Even when you're in someone else's house with their food options instead of your own. Even at the holidays.

Don't be afraid of the scale. Just because I don't know what I weigh, doesn't mean I didn't gain the weight. The same goes for tracking. Just because you don't write down what you ate, doesn't mean it didn't happen. When you look up the points and track, you learn more about the impact everything that you eat has, and maybe you'll choose differently next time. You're only trying to fool yourself, which hurts yourself. Honesty is always better than self-delusion. Even if you've done poorly, track it. Even if you've used all your points/calories for the day and week, track it. Because at the end of the week, you'll know why you got the results you got. It's much better to know why, than to have forgotten what you ate and say, "Man, I'm doing everything right but I still can't lose weight!" If you do that often enough, you'll start to believe that you can't lose weight "no matter what you do" when really, it's what you're doing that's the cause. Better to admit you had a bad week and didn't have the best self-control, than to confine yourself to a lifetime of obesity because you've convinced yourself you can't lose weight. You can lose weight. Anyone can lose weight.

I truly believe that weight management is a mindset. Your success is dependent on your determination.

Have you decided that you can't get under 200 lbs? Have you decided that you can't lose more than 20lbs? You lose 20 or get under 200 and suddenly, mysteriously, the weight starts creeping back up again? It's not a mystery! It's self-sabotage! You do it to yourself! Do you allow yourself to make excuses? There are no valid excuses for why you can't lose weight. I don't care how old you are, I don't care if you're disabled or injured, you can control your eating, and you can find alternative ways to exercise. I don't care if it's the holidays. There are plenty of healthier for you options for holiday foods. You don't have to overeat at holiday meals, you can still control your portions and enjoy your food. You can indulge, but don't over indulge and make sure to pick your indulgences wisely. Do you really need a GIANT piece of cake, or is one slice sufficient. Is the 2nd piece of cake really any better than just one? Would I rather have store bought cookies in the office, or homemade pie at Mom's house? Just because food is a part of the holidays, doesn't mean that you have to eat everything offered to you.

I think that too many people have decided that the holidays are about food (and spending tons of money on crap you neither need nor really want). This is false. The holidays are about those you love, not food. It's about letting them know you love them.

Make new holiday traditions. View staying healthy at the holidays as a challenge and make it a team effort. What will make your holiday more memorable? Knowing you did something as a group to improve your health and fitness, or eating buttery mashed potatoes? The pride of knowing you lost weight and exercised over the holidays will endure much longer than the memories of what you ate. Incorporate exercise into your holiday events. Do a group 5k before your feast. Go for a stroll or go caroling afterward. There are healthy ways to make tasty meals. You don't have to compromise flavor for health (may I suggest hungry-girl.com).


Eat before your feast. Eat light but filling meals and snacks throughout the day and you won't be starving and end up gorging yourself at the big event.

Donate your holiday feast leftovers to someone in need. In Salt Lake City, there are elderly folks with no family who would still like to enjoy some traditional holiday food. A group will come pick up your leftovers and ding-dong ditch platters of food on the doorsteps of these folks. Email heyysug@hotmail.com for more information if you're interested. :-) Now you're not stuck eating yourself sick on the same stuff for a whole week. You can enjoy your potentially not-so-healthy holiday dishes at your family feast, but you don't have to overdo it for the following week. It's not going to ruin your weight loss to enjoy the dishes once, but to consume unnecessary items all week is when things become disastrous.

Don't wait until "The New Year" to get your diet on track. There is no time like the present! If you don't hunker down and do it now, why would you do it then? Especially when you'll have the convenient excuse that it's a New Year's Resolution and who really expects those to be successful anyways?

I joined WW on Dec 22nd last year. My husband joined WW the day after Thanksgiving and in the middle of our vacation. If you can't imagine your holidays without over-indulgences on food, what does that say about you and your priorities? You can enjoy unhealthy foods in moderation without ruining your holiday season.

How to Lose Weight When You're Busy

There is no such thing as "too busy." I work 80 hours a week, and still exercise, and lost 35 pounds.
You are not lacking in free time, you are lacking in motivation. When there's a will, there's a way.

Photo Credits

I work 80 hours a week, so I exercise on my way too and from work by commuting via bicycle. I also do frequent "rounds" of the building to make sure everything is secure. I jog up the stairs, and sprint when I am circling the grounds. Be creative, you can find a way to improve your health. Some offices will allow you to use an exercise ball as a chair.

Benefits of Sitting on the Ball

Sitting on an exercise ball, your body is constantly making small adjustments with the postural muscles, abdominals, gluteals and leg muscles. It is "active sitting" rather than the slumping and poor posture we develop even in ergonomic desk chairs.

As far as "not having time to cook," I get that. I don't cook. My spouse does. But he has tailored his dishes to allow me to eat and he'll cook enough that I'll have leftovers as lunches for a few days. I also like to bring frozen meals to work with me. I like the steamers vegetable bags. I also really enjoy the full meals that healthy choice offers. Especially the one with chicken tenders and gravy in it. It's a "guilty pleasure" without the guilt! 

I also found these recipes on the Hungry Girl website. They're microwave recipes, so I can make my own food at work. I love it! Cup o' Chocolate-Coconut Bread Pudding  -I couldn't find the link for this one, but I have the recipe saved. E-mail me if you want it.
Caramel Bread Pudding for Two -I couldn't find the link for this one, but I have the recipe saved. E-mail me if you want it.
Apple Pie
Egg Mugs
Mississippi Mug Pie

Controlling Cravings

Cravings are a part of life. They are not a bad thing. Don't beat up on yourself for feeling them. Cravings don't have to be avoided at all costs either. Remember, moderation is the key.

I HIGHLY suggest the website http://www.hungry-girl.com She sends out daily e-mails with recipe swaps and grocery store finds. It's been a great help. I use the site when I'm experiencing cravings a lot. "I want _______, show me a way to make it healthier."

When you start to feel a craving, ask yourself the following questions:

Are you really hungry right now? Or do you just want to eat? Do you want to eat because you're bored? Am I really just thirsty? Do you want to eat because you're stressed/emotional and want some comfort? 

I wouldn't say that I am an "emotional eater," but I definitely eat when I am stressed out. I eat for comfort. I listen to my cravings, definitely. I eat chocolate. Sometimes almost every day. And yet, I still lose weight. If you can identify WHY you're feeling the craving, it can help you control it. I can enjoy one piece of dark chocolate, and be fine. But you have to ENJOY it. Go outside and slowly, luxuriously eat that treat. Go slowly on the cake. Savor each bite. Make it last.

If you're feeling cravings because you're bored, find something to do. Take a break from work and go outside and walk around the block, clear your mind, call your mom while you're doing it. Distract yourself from the obsessive thoughts about quesadillas. If it doesn't go away, have a quesadilla for dinner. It's not the end of the world.

Many Americans are dehydrated and the body responds by telling us to eat, because hopefully we'll eat something with a lot of water in it, or that we'll wash the meal down with water. Another way to respond to cravings is to follow the good health guidelines (servings of water, fruits and veggies, diary, and good fats). If you're feeling hungry, and you haven't had all your servings of good stuff yet, take that as the opportunity to meet it. The fruits and veggies are 0 points, so they keep you full/are a great snack. I view water as the body's cleanser. It flushes all the bad stuff out of the system. Most Americans are dehydrated, which slows down the metabolism. Lots of water keeps the body working to process it, and cleans out all the gunk that's inside. A yogurt as a snack is good too. I hadn't been doing the good fats very well, and my cholesterol levels are showing that. Working out will also be good for you.

A good thing to ask yourself is: "In the big picture, is eating this burger? (or not eating this burger) going to make or break my life or my weight management?" Making a "bad" eating decision on occasion is not going to ruin your weight loss. I always prefer the term weight management because one day you're going to stop losing weight, and have to maintain the same weight, and if you can't successfully make that transition, what's the point? Slow and steady wins the race. If you can control your cravings, by giving in to them occasionally, but ignoring them more, you can better succeed. I've maintained by weight for 3 months now, and I've actually lost a few additional unintentional pounds. I still eat my "junk." I don't starve myself. I actually go out to eat A LOT. I've just learned how to make better eating decisions. Choose quality and flavorful foods. Is this a unique, delicious dish that is worth the $ and calories? Or is it bland and run of the mill and I should choose something better?

A friend made an excellent suggestion to me: If the banana/apple on your desk doesn't sound good to you, you're not really hungry. Use that as a litmus test for if you're Bored!Hungry, or wanting a specific food even though you're not hungry. Sometimes, I eat pro-actively, "I am going to make sure I'm full before the birthday party at work, so I'll only have one helping of cake."

Read and Be Well Rounded

Read this article on "Gay Rights." I find it relates to my anniversary post on why marriage matters.

Some quotes from it that I really liked:

"So stop it with your 'sacred institution' argument and open up some history books.

You want deregulation? Let's deregulate marriage.

If any of my sons were gay, that's perfectly okay. We would accept him for who he is, and love him just the same. I don't worry about that. What I do worry about is this: if I did have a gay son, how could I explain to him that people don't want him to have the same rights as everyone else? How can I explain to him that if he wants to grow up, buy a home, and start a family, he might need to move to a state that doesn't reject him? How can I explain that people believe he is an abomination whose perverted lifestyle will lead him to an eternity in hell? How would I feel if my son killed himself because he was bullied, maligned, ridiculed, and made to feel as if he had no place in society? maybe if our state's leaders stop sending the message to our children that they are unwanted, maybe we can save the life of a child. Isn't that worth it?"

While you're at it, watch this video. It's amazing and makes me tear up every time.

Exercise and Weight Management

I dislike the thought of exercising to lose weight. I prefer eating to lose weight. Because you don't HAVE to exercise, but we do have to eat. Injuries, fatigue, bad weather, etc. can all cause decreased exercise, but we still eat. Plus, exercising causes an increase in hunger and the perception that we can eat more. By eating to lose weight, you learn about food, you learn about your body, and you practice and form habits of what to eat, how often, how much, etc. Learning to eat is necessary for weight management, because we will continue to eat forever, and if we don't know how, we'll gain the weight again.
However, exercise and weight management are perfect for each other. Studies show that people who exercise regularly maintain their weight loss with much more success than those who don't. I didn't used to believe this... But now I do. I have been on maintenance for a while now, and I'm doing very well. I have been doing 80% of my commuting via bicycle, plus my 1-2 additional fun rides. I haven't been counting points. I haven't been eating perfectly either. I think that the reason I haven't gained any weight despite my eating habits is because of the cycling. I think it's jump-starting my metabolism in the mornings, and then creating afterburn (when your metabolism continues to work harder post-exercise).

Guest Post: "Heartbreaking"

Mark,

I started to write this email on the 22^nd: the last day that I ever talked to you. I have waited until now to send it, because I wanted to make sure that I got it just right, and I hope that you have cooled off enough to read it.

I want you to know that this is not some “4th quarter Hail Mary.” One thing that you failed to consider when you said that our friendship may never be again- perhaps I don’t want it. You are not the person that I met all those months ago. Stop and take a good hard look at your life. Are you happy with where it is and where it is going? If so then I am better off not coming along for the ride. You have some serious soul searching to do. You have always known how I felt about you, and for a long time you played along, always leaving the door open to possibility. I am not sure if you really did think it was a possibility or if you were just playing along for the fun of it. I will probably never know. I don’t know if you are gay or straight or bi or a prostitute for that matter. I know that you are one of those things, but I am not even sure that you know which one. When you decide, and I mean really decide what you are and what you want, then we can talk.
When I saw you last night with her, that was pretty much the nail in the coffin. You have never fought so hard to see me, nor been as excited. In fact for the past month I have not felt loved or wanted merely tolerated as a necessary evil.

Ever since you told me about the “lists” that you give to people I often wondered what would be on mine. Today I found out. I listened to your list, I hope you will take the time to read mine.

I am sad that it is over, yet glad that it is resolved. That is what was really upsetting me. Not knowing and me are just not good together. I feel like you always left the door open just a crack. Even in the car just last week you told me that the reason you shut the door (you know what door I am talking about) was because of stress and once you were through that stress it might open again.
I am not sure why you always left the door open a little, maybe you were just telling me what I wanted to hear, or maybe the door really was still open and you were scared or unsure. It would not really matter anyway, because I could no longer take the unknown. I said it once before, I always felt like I was not looking for anyone else, but you were.

I took a slightly different approach to my list than you did, I learned it from you. You told me that you are always telling others to look for positives in the situation. That is what I chose to do.

I believe that you can choose how and what to remember.

This is what I am taking from our time together.

First, I felt connected to you the first time that I saw you. I remember that you came in right before close and wanted to tan. I had just turned someone else away because we were closing, but I let you tan. I could not turn you away. I remember one time where you kept letting people tan before you so that we could visit longer. That made me feel special.

I felt wanted in a way that I never had before when you accepted my friend request on facebook. Probably the highlight of my year was when you out of the blue friended me on foursquare. You sought me out. We both used it religiously until you finally asked for my number. Never in my life has someone that I so desperately wanted to ask for my number actually asked for it. I don’t know if you noticed but after we exchanged numbers we both stopped using foursquare. Maybe it was just a coincidence, maybe you were just tired of using it, or maybe you were trying to connect with me further.
When we went to Owl Bar and we talked about the gay/straight issue and you just said, “I am straight, but willing to see where this goes” I don’t think that I have ever been that happy in my life. You kept asking me to ask you questions over and over again. I can only think that there must have been one particular question in your mind and you were trying to get me to ask it. I will never know what that question was.

All I know is that on the way back to your house you hung up on her multiple times and ignored her calls and texts. In that moment I felt like I was all that mattered to you. That same car ride you pointed out multiple times that you had kissed to guys. I remember your comment that you were giving me ammunition for later.

When we got to your house you lingered in the car. You got out twice and came back, you hugged me, and the second time you came back you shook my hand. I think that if I would have asked you to come back to Salt Lake with me you would have. I also think if I would have asked to kiss you, you would have let me. Maybe that was the question you were trying to get me to ask, I will never know.

I don’t know if I will ever have as perfect a night as that night was again. I cannot imagine a better first date, even if it were only a date in my eyes and not yours. I remember that is when you told me you were going to take me on the full moon chair lift. It sounded so perfect.
There were many other such nights. I remember when we just drove around and you showed me where you used to work and the amphitheater. I remember another night when you were taking me back to my car and at the last minute you made a detour and we went to that park with the swings and sat there swinging and talking for a while. I felt that neither of us wanted that night to end.
Those nights were all great but nothing will ever compare to the Owl Bar. Everything was fresh and new and good. We started to make plans for the future, we talked about you moving in. That night things were perfect and happy, life and not actually become part of our relationship yet.

We had so many great adventures in the beginning. I still remember the first time that we drove through the alpine loop. You told me about how the trees were one of the largest living organisms because they were all basically one tree. I still have those silly pictures that we took when it was way too dark to actually see anything. You mentioned the peace gardens and that was something great to share with you as was the sculpture garden. It was always so cool to me to introduce you to new things that you had never done before. Remember the restaurants? Faustina, Frida Bistro? The Chalk Art Festival? All of those experiences were so amazing.

I remember the night of the wedding you wanted so badly to go to habits with that girl and she certainly wanted you to go. She even came back to get you. You asked me to give you just one night and I told you that you were free to do as you pleased. I remember sitting in the car with her standing outside waiting for you. I knew that you were going to leave, but you stayed. You told me that going home with me went against everything that you had ever been taught about being happy. But, yet I made you happy, so we went home.

I remember one of the nights that she came over before she got there you gave me a kiss on the cheek for recognizing a line from the Princess Bride. You did not have to do that, but you did. In fact every single time I kissed you on the neck, you never once tried to stop me. You initiated just as many hugs as I did. And you always let me cuddle. When you stayed in my bed I slept so well. We did not do anything but just having you there meant so much to me.
I remember watching Step Brothers with you and her. She was lying on the floor and you laid down beside her. You told me to come over too and I did. I laid next to you and we were about as close as you can be. In that moment I felt loved and important. I think that honestly that night might have been the last time that you chose me over a girl.
I think that same night, before she got there, you told me that you could not be gay because you wanted a family. You quickly added, “Well I guess we could adopt”. I would like to think that at that moment you were actually considering a life with me, even for a moment. Up until that point every time the subject came up it was never because you did not want it. It was always some other reason: family, kids, the church, your friends, etc… It was not long after that when you started with the definite it is not going to happen, I am straight.
The only negative thing from our time together that I am going to choose to remember is the night that it all went to hell. It was the first night that I met Whitney and it was only a few days after you got your license back. You drove to my house drunk.

I could not believe how irresponsible it was of you. From that night on it became all about girls and partying. I tried to be part of that world with you, but it just did not work. It was not me, and honestly I do not think that it is the you that you want to be, but it is so easy to be that person.

I once commented that I wished I had known you in your wilder days. You told me that you were a different person and that I would not like that person. We probably would not even be friends.

That is what I was referring to when I made the comment about irresponsible unemployed Mark. When I met you, you had goals and dreams. We even built goals and dreams together. That was the Mark that I fell in love with, and I try to believe that Mark loved me at least a little too. You are not that Mark anymore. And you are right, that Mark and I will not be friends.

I feel like you are starting to slide back into that person, how many times have you said I am not drinking anymore, yet every night what did we do?

I remember the first time that “you’re my favorite” became “I love you”. I am not sure I will ever know what you meant when you told me you loved me, but I know that you know what I meant when I said it.

I almost forgot our last two adventures. The cascade springs and bridal veil falls day was amazing. I loved it when you told me stories of your childhood. It made me feel like things were going back to normal. Our Tuesday hike up to the waterfall was also amazing. Out there when it was just us things were perfect. There was no one for us to worry about, we could just be. I know that I will visit those places often. They will always be happy memories for me. Perhaps, one day I will find you there.

I know that in the end, I could not give you what you needed. I don’t know what changed. I think that it really scared you when Whitney made the comments about you being gay over text message. I think that for the first time it really occurred to you how other people saw us. It does not really matter if you are gay, straight, bisexual, or asexual. The answer to that question does not really matter. What I do know is that we were closer than you would probably be with any other guy. I think that scared you. I think that you felt that I was forcing you to make a decision that might change your life forever and you just did not want to make a decision like that. It created a lot of tension between us. Maybe I am wrong, but it is easier for me to think that than the alternative.

We have both changed. I am not sure that either of us changed for the better, but I know that we will both pull through this, albeit apart. I would have spent the past few months trying to make you happy, but I am not sure that I would have ever succeeded.
In the end none of that even really matters, what it all comes down to is that when I am hurt or sad I want connection. When you are hurt or sad you want seclusion. Most of the time that is fine, except if we both happen to be hurt and sad, then our needs are mutually exclusive and neither of us really gets what we want.

I think that it is kind of ironic. You wrote me off because you needed space and I could not give it to you. I gave you an ultimatum and you did not like it. I don’t know if you realize that you gave me the very same ultimatum when you said, “when someone tells you that they need space and the friendship is on the line, you have to respect that”. I do not really see how that is any different than what I told you about needing you, the main difference is that I would have never followed through and you did.
I don’t even know if you are reading this or not, maybe I wrote it more for my benefit than yours.
I just wanted you to see my take on the situation. And, I wanted you to know what I am taking from the past few months.

I would rather remember the good times than the bad and so I will. I hope that someday you can look back at the time that we spent together and pull out something positive.
I truly hope that this message has come across the way that I intended it. I do not regret my time with you. I am a better person for the time that I spent with you. I would like to regret some of my actions, but that does not really gain anything for either of us, so I see no reason to.

I hope the best for you. I truly hope that someday you will find someone who makes you happy. Someone who will drive and support you to achieve your dreams and goals. Most of all I hope that you can find someone that you can love as much as I love you. I say “love” not “loved” because I gave you part of my heart and you can never really give it back. I will always have a connection to you no matter what.

I don’t think that you will ever speak to me again, but I am sure that I will see you around. I don’t expect you to acknowledge me at all. That makes me sad, but I accept it.

We started our relationship with a game of questions so I think that it is fitting that we should end with one.

How do you really feel about me?

I don’t think that I will ever know how you truly felt about me. I know that you are mad, but I know that you don’t hate me. I am not even sure that you yourself know the answer to how you truly feel about me. I think that is sad. I can’t help but feel that things started falling apart when people you cared about started to wonder about us, and believe me they did. I think it scared the shit out of you.

Perhaps it is better not to know, I am not sure that I would like either answer. Either you did really love me, but are now gone… sad. Or you never really loved me or cared about me and I was just a stupid boy in love with someone that they could never have… sad

Why Exercise Can Make You Gain Weight

So, I made it to the top of Emigration Canyon for the first time on Sunday, after having tried and failed on two previous attempts. (Woot woot!) and then we went to the Olive Garden. and then I ate a jelly filled donut. and then I ate a cream filled donut. ...Yeah. I went crazy because I "earned" it. Well, eating like that basically ruined the weight loss benefits of my ride. (Note, it was still good for my heart health to ride, but I overate and ate garbage to compensate for it.) I think this might explain why people who are "working out" and "exercising a lot" see little movement on the scale.

Or, you might think you're exercising when you're really not? ;)

Another reason could be that you're losing pounds of body fat, and replacing it with muscle. However, because people use this as a cop-out excuse, you should actually measure your body fat before you make that claim. I suggest getting a scale that does it for you.
 

Also, I reached my original weight goal (135). I want to lose more fat, but I do not want to lose more weight. I don't think that losing 10 more pounds is necessarily good for me, Instead, I am going to maintain this weight, and lose 14% more of my body fat (hopefully). I also want to add 20 more pounds of muscle to my body. I have decided to go on maintenance so that I can eat more, because it's very hard to add muscle mass when you're calorie restricting. (and I have a really hard time wasting 40% of my points on protein shakes).

I have signed up for "The Toughest Century in Utah." If I complete it, it will be my first full century (91.5 mi is the most I've done). The beginning of this ride is Emigration Canyon or "Little Mountain" as Jake calls it. Then there's going up and down "Big Mountain." and then you go for a few more miles, and then you turn around, and go BACK up and down "Big Mountain" and then back and up "Little Mountain" again. It's going to be hard. So we're going to practice.

Also, the Trax schedules just changed, so I'm going to have to leave work downtown a little earlier than I had been to make it to the halfway house in time. In that case, I might as well leave with enough time to ride my bike all the way. (It takes me about 35 minutes to ride my bike from one job to the other.) I'm going to try to see if I can do that. It'll mean I have to get up earlier in the morning to pack my clothes and lunch and get my bike set up, so it might take a toll on how I feel since I'm already pretty sleep-deprived some days. But let's be honest, I want bragging rights. Wouldn't it be awesome to be able to say that I've ridden my bike to work for the last 30 days, 60 days, etc. until it snows? Also, if I ride every day, I'll be getting my 30 minutes of cardio daily. :-) I wonder what affect that will have on my body?

Our family has also decided to do an "Abs Competition." We're going to do sit-ups every day until Christmas, and then at Christmas we'll compare. There really is no prize, except it keeps us accountable, and we all want to out-do each other, so the competition is also a motivator. Today is day 3. My bro-in-law says that the 1st week is the hardest. I'm excited to keep going though.

I wonder how fast I can build my muscle mass? I hope that I can continue to increase my exercising and fitness. One day at a time.