I saw Rent Thursday night. Rent was already my favorite musical. But wow. Wow. It was so much more amazing than I'd ever imagined it could be. I felt very convicted by the show's scenes about homelessness. I felt guilty. I felt grateful for what I have. I wished that I had the ability to do more. But really, that's a freaking cop out and an excuse. I do have the ability. I can't do large, grand gestures, but I can do something. I have money to do extra things for myself and my family. I'm pretty spoiled. I throw food away because I don't eat it all.
There's a homeless guy who sits right outside my work everyday. I've been ignoring him for weeks. I wonder how many people pass him every day and don't even think twice about him. This morning I made eye contact with him and then he started speaking to me. So he's a polite panhandler. He waits to be acknowledged before soliciting. How long have I had some of these meal replacement shakes, and other items in the fridge here? I buy food in bulk. I have things to spare, and it really doesn't cost me much. I gave him my banana on Friday as I walked into work. I went to the fridge and grabbed my extra protein shake, but when I went back downstairs he was gone. I wonder where he went.
I'll admit it, I am very apprehensive about giving panhandlers money. I do not like to do it. I pretty much don't. But, I can give him food. and either he will eat it, or he will trade it for something else, but at least now I know he's had the opportunity to eat.
This morning, I rode past him on my expensive bike while listening to my iPod and wearing my expensive cycling gear. Man, I sure am lucky to be able to have these nice things. I shared my clementines with him (giving him the ones with the best color because sometimes some of them aren't great and I don't want him to think I'm giving him my garbage and my rejects. and I gave him one of my protein shakes that have been in the fridge for months, but aren't expired.) He made a comment about how healthy he's going to be and how he'll be running and doing summersaults down the street in no time. He didn't complain. He didn't ask for anything else. It was a nice exchange. I've always wondered what people's stories are. How did you end up in this predicament? What happened to your family? I've always been too afraid to ask.
Did you know that there are over 1 million homeless individuals in L.A.? That's crazy. That's a LOT of people living on the streets. Dying on the streets. What a terrible way to die. I've also been watching Secret Millionaire. It makes me wish I was a millionaire so I could help people. That's a cop out and an excuse. I can help people. This episode actually shows how much just one person can do on his own. The show is really motivational, and I highly suggest watching it.
I've been reading Anne Rice lately. There is a nun in "The Tale of the Body Thief" named Gretchen. She and Lestat talk about how you can't look at the big picture and try to change things on a grand scale. The impact that you make in individual lives matters, even if you don't see a widespread change in the whole society. I firmly believe this. Life matters. Life is precious. Each individual life is worthwhile. We only get one life to live. Make it the best you can. It really hurts to know that some people only endure extreme hardships in life and get very little enjoyment and pleasure.
We are extremely blessed. I know that we always want more. More more more. I am so guilty of this. But we also really need to sit back and be appreciative for what we do have. and man, I have a LOT. I am SPOILED. I have a nice home. I have extra money to go out to events and such. I get to take vacations. I am LUCKY. and I know that. and I am going to try to pay it forward. What is belief without action? I need to get off my ass and quit waiting for someone else to make a change in the world. I need to quit convincing myself that there's nothing I can do. I need to quit idly wishing I could do something. Having my hippie, idealist beliefs means nothing if I don't actually do anything to help others. All that does it make me a lazy hypocrite. and that's not really who I'd like to be. Hopefully I can make this personal change more long-term, instead of being a brief fad-like experience. I don't want to go back to being a hypocrite.
So I have always wanted to volunteer at the homeless youth outreach center. Did not want to go by myself. Wanna go with me sometime?
ReplyDeleteI haven't even heard of it? Where is it? I wonder if they would let a 14 year old boy volunteer with us? It might be a nice family outing too. I volunteered at a soup kitchen in Atlanta one Saturday morning for school. It was really cool. They had families coming in. They said that not all of the people who came in were homeless, but that some were struggling to make ends meet and that having one free meal a week helped them out a lot.
ReplyDeleteI know that The Road Home is always looking for volunteers. I used to volunteer in the kids playroom on Thursday evenings. All you have to do is interact with them, make sure everyone is playing safe, and have fun. They LOVE it when you play with them- tag is a big favorite. It is so ironic that the gateway is right across the street from this homeless shelter people don't give it a second glance.
ReplyDeleteI don't give money out, but I will give granola bars, etc to the people outside walmart who have signs asking for money. I know there is a program that provides nice clothes for job interviews for homeless people. The cathedral on south temple will always give out sack lunches and bus tokens if you just knock and ask for one. You can also volunteer there and make the sandwiches.
Thank you for writing such a nice post. It reminds me that I am very privileged too and can do my part to benefit others and that you don't have to be a secret millionaire to make a difference.